Since I got back from California last weekend, I've felt lost. Before I left, I had so much going on mentally and emotionally, and it all seemed to come crashing down at once. I took my BCACP on Friday May 9th, then headed straight from the exam to San Diego. Then, the stress of another surgery, dealing with the 405 again three more times, inconveniencing (IMO-not theirs) Steph, her hubby, and Mom for the 3rd time in four months, and the unknown of a new procedure(s) started in on me as soon as I no longer had the upcoming exam as a distraction. I had some other personal issues going on, including Ali having an injury, on top of all of this, and I was just a hot mess. Luckily, I have the best family and friends, esp Steph, that let me vent and helped me feel calmer about everything. Sometimes you just need a good cry to release all of the tension. The tension release I had was absolutely a sign of me being too strong for way too long.
This entire year has been abnormal for me. It has been full of frustration, many fialed attempts at fixing my injuries, depression over feeling like I didn't have a purpose, having everything taken away from me one thing at a time until I had no distractions, and a ton of personal growth as a result. My friend Kat always tells me that the hardest times are when you grow the most. Let's be tactful and just say I've done a hell of a lot of growth in the last month.
Going from working full time, running regularly, and my other hobbies to nothing was extremely hard. Some of my hardest times mentally were sitting on my couch in my old apartment watching TV for hours on end trying my hardest to stay off my feet due to the pain. I couldn't stand for more than 5-10 minutes when I was at my worst. I didn't even want to get up to fix lunch for myself. I had to buy stools to sit on while cooking and performing activities of daily living such as drying my hair. Getting home this last time and not having to study 24/7 caused that same feeling of worthlessness and boredom to come back, especially sitting in the same place on my couch. Isn't that so weird?
To try and cope with the situation, I decided to do some baking and cooking yesterday. I also decided to focus on things that make me happy. This is almost like an unwritten gratitude list. I decided to take pictures to include in this post for you guys. I've seen this quote a few times this week, probably for a reason:
“A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. When you wake up, take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. The moment you start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start to feel like one.”
I've been trying to do this everyday. I am truly blessed in so many ways, it's unreal. I've been through a lot this year, but I am finally seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. Albeit a tiny inkling of light, at least it's there.
So here are some of the things keeping me in an attitude of gratitude this week:
These two. It is so weird having two dogs right now, but it's turned out to be really fun! Riley is my neighbor's dog, and is the sweetest, most handsome gentleman!
It is almost summer, and that means it's peach, apricot, nectarine and watermelon season!! Look at the produce section at the Safeway by my house!! This makes me SO happy!!
When Ali lays down and gets gremlin ears, I always laugh! Look at her! She really does look like a little gremlin with her ears like that!
So I bought a little bit of produce. Having all of this fresh healthy goodness makes me want to cook and bake, both of which are huge hobbies of mine. I've been enjoying some really great combinations of fresh juice, such as this:
I made my own version of Strawberry Lemonade muffins (GF of course,) and they turned out pretty good. I am going to tweak a few ingredients and the cooking time and temp to see if I can get them just the way I want them before I post the recipe on here.
They turned out a little too brown for me. They could also use some improvement in the intensity of the flavors.
My souis chefs. The Two Stooges.
I also pulled this recipe out of nowhere for dinner. It will be on the blog next Wednesday for WFDW. It has a nice kick to it, but don't be afraid, you can adjust the spices however you want.
Having so much fresh fruit to choose from when making smoothies is a favorite of mine, as well. Hello tropical smoothies and juices!! That is papaya on the left, and mango on the right. I actually cut the mango correctly for the first time in my life, I think. Thank you Instagram and your many pictures of the correct method. Steph told me she doesn't like papaya because she think it tastes like soap. I couldn't help but laugh. Soap is so specific of a taste! Hopefully I won't think of that now when I eat it and ruin it for myself!
I also got my Birchbox while I was gone and got to open it this week. It always has such great stuff in it! Do you guys want me to show you my Birchbox opening every month? I can definitely do it, as many other bloggers already do. Let me know below, and I can definitely make it happen.
Last, but certainly far from least, I entered Ali in the APARN Cutest Pug of 2014 contest with this picture! Voting will start soon, and we would more than appreciate your support! I'll link the voting page on here once it is up.
That all for now.
What makes you happy on a daily basis?
How do you snap yourself out of a depressed or stressed mood?